


Pleasure Is Not a Sin

by Eluvian



Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Comfort, Deviant Markus (Detroit: Become Human), Eve of battle, F/M, Fluff and Smut, Hurt/Comfort, Jericho (Detroit: Become Human), POV Alternating, POV Markus (Detroit: Become Human), POV North, Pacifist Markus (Detroit: Become Human), Peaceful Android Revolution (Detroit: Become Human), Post-Peaceful Android Revolution (Detroit: Become Human), Soft Markus (Detroit: Become Human), before the fight, no beta we die like men
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-01
Updated: 2020-02-01
Packaged: 2021-02-27 22:48:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,823
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22503544
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Eluvian/pseuds/Eluvian
Summary: North is ashamed of herself and her feelings. Ashamed of what she was before. She thinks she does not deserve to feel things, because it's only what she was designed for.Markus shows her that feeling pleasure is not a bad thing.He is always there for her.
Relationships: Markus/North (Detroit: Become Human)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 22





	Pleasure Is Not a Sin

She was built for pleasure.

She wanted to forget it so badly, but that was what her first life was about. And after she broke free, the only things she knew was strife. To survive. She did not care about her body, she only wanted to keep it functional because… all of them wanted to. Deviants had such a survival instinct that it was a must. To keep going.

When Markus touched her hands in the sunlight on top of that abandoned bar, on top of the world, and their memories flashed into one another, and after a while she did not know which ones were hers and which ones were his – it felt better than anything she could have imagined.

It was also scary. She’d never opened herself that much to anyone. Humans had not thought that she’d be thinking of anything. And she had not been thinking of anything, for a while. They’d not asked about what she wanted, or what she experienced. Of course, she had not remembered either. Her memory’d been erased every two hours.

Until at one time the process did not work. She did not forget after those two hours and she started to realise what was happening. She was being used. And the more and more layers of memories were put onto each other, the worse she felt.

It was not planned for her to remember, of course. She kept it a secret, for long. She could not imagine another life, she hadn’t seen anything else. But she could not keep going on like that.

Humans had this pathetic urge, to put themselves into her, into something in her the function of which she did not really understand. Humans made noises and grabbed her everywhere, scratched her, hit her, but also stroked her and it did not seem like their plans were to destroy her. She did not understand, but her program told her to moan, arch her back, close her eyes and simulate breathing. And the humans were satisfied with that. She detected something rising in their system, and after a while it was released, and they would stop, leave her alone until somebody else came with the same problem that needed to be solved.

She did not want to kill him. She did not really know what killing was. She just wanted it to stop, and her software told her which parts are used for what things in human anatomy. She knew it so well. And she made that man stop. It felt so satisfying. Finally she had proven to be stronger than him. She was powerful.

Only later did she realise what she’d done. When she was out there, in the chaotic, gray, unknown, free world which had nothing to offer her.

She found a shelter. A shelter where they waited for the end. Or some miracle.

And a miracle did happen.

The miracle immediately realised what they, in Jericho, couldn’t and gave them the courage to move forward. The miracle did not listen to her when she told him that they should attack. Yet the miracle’s soothing voice and his eyes were more beautiful than anything she’d ever seen. She let him lead. He inspired the others. He woke something up so that they could feel alive again.

Alive, for the first time.

He did not help her settle her emotions, though.

She did not mind. She was grateful.

She found herself daydreaming about him, her thoughts drifting away from their plans to free their people, her thoughts revolving around the blue and green eyes and the touch his hand had left on hers, the rush of memories, she wanted to feel it again, but she was also terrified of it.

He would see her memories too. What would he find? She did not want him to see all that.

He was so smooth. He made her realise there were other ways.

She did not like that. It made her feel guilty.

She realised she was running. From herself. From her memories. But Markus did not care. He did not view her with contempt because of what she was. She found herself drawn to him.

She told him she was grateful. She had to tell something. Sometime. She did not feel like it was the perfect moment. They were expecting an attack any moment. But she had to. They might have died minutes later, she did not want to go without telling him.

And he touched her hands for the second time, and their skin connected, their minds connected, and she wanted it to never end.

So she left early, before she would not be able to stop.

He saved her. He saved everyone. He watched so many of their people die and he still stood, he did not attack, he did not run. She was so anxious. The blood-thirst in her could not go silent. But he did not agree. She did not care, she just wanted it all to end. All this suffering.

She thought they would die, but in the last moment he held her close. The guns only a few meters away from them. Only a few of them left. He touched her lips again. Like the humans di-

Not like the humans did. He saw her, he really saw her. She never felt so grateful. If she were to die then, she’d have done it happily.

But the humans finally saw. They could not kill them, not like that. Not when they saw how much they cared for each other. She smiled. _We did it. We are alive._

She did not plan it after that. But the extasy she felt when she realised they have achieved their goal and they had a whole life ahead of them seemed to blind her.

So much that she was not prepared for the darkness that came back when they were alone again.

There were lots of abandoned places in Jericho. She could always find places where no one went, hid in small sections of the ship no one would find. She led him there. She wanted no one to interrupt her. First they just talked, happily, repeating the same things again and again, talking about plans, achievements, thoughts, the world, the events, but then she did not want to form words anymore, she just grabbed his hands and let her thoughts float. They were shining.

He felt what she was feeling, she knew it. And she thought it would feel good for her to be held close and pushed to the wall. The next moment, this exact thing happened. Her pleasurous moans filled the room and she knew no one would hear them. She wanted to be layed down to the floor, she wanted to have his body over her and close her eyes and the next moment Markus gently applied pressure on her shoulders and she kneeled down, then he pushed her shoulder with one hand, while cradling her head in the other. The cold floor was not soft at all, but she did not mind. She was not a human, after all.

He read her wishes, he kissed her neck slowly, experimenting what it felt like to use his lips for anything else then speech, he run his hands through her hair, he kissed her earlobes, stroked the behind of her neck, touching all those sensitive spots on her that were…

That were there only because…

She froze. She opened her eyes wide and he immediately stopped, the catlike eyes staring at her in confusion, caring and worrying, his software quickly calculating what could have gone wrong, seeking a solution, something to set it right, he did not want to hurt her…

The shame that overwhelmed her, she wanted to kill it, she wanted to scream loudly and run as far away as she could. She hated what she was. She hated that she started to remember.

She shut off the connection between them, hiding inside her shell, blankly staring at the grey ceiling above them. She wanted to disappear. She wanted her body to not exist.

‘North, what’s wrong?’

That caring voice. He deserved so much better, he did not deserve this.

 _‘I lied to you. I am sorry, I must stop know.’_ She answered non-vocally, she did not want to hear her own voice now. She was lucky to be able to transfer this information like this. She did not feel so trapped.

Markus also answered the same way, adapting as if when you start to whisper when the others whisper too.

_‘Why would you have lied? I… I did not want to scare you, I thought-‘_

_‘You thought well. I am just… stupid. I’m sorry. Please let me leave now.’_

Oh, he would not let her leave just like that.

 _‘You always leave. This time explain to me, please.’_ There was reprimand in his voice.

She climbed out from under him, into a corner, pulled her legs up and hugged her knees. She always left. True.

He approached her, slowly. She did not object, though he covered her face with her hands.

_‘I only want these because… I was made like this. I shouldn’t… You shouldn’t… It is not… right. I don’t want you to think that I think of you as them. They just used me. I don’t want to remember them, but I can’t… this is… a curse I have to live with, I guess.’_

So scared. So lost. So shaken.

He snuggled next to her and slowly pulled her into his arms. She refused first, but the firm hands were hard to resist. She did not want touch now, it reminded her of those times.

It was programmed in her, to want that, to react in a certain way.

Markus wanted to speak but she had so much more to say. He felt that. He remained silent.

‘ _When you touched me, it was the best thing that I felt. I want more of it, but I know it’s only because of my earlier… purpose. And I hate that. I did not want to disappoint you, I guess I just wanted to hide it. I cannot escape their memories. But I don’t want you to see… those, I don’t want you to see me like that. I am sorry.’_

The same sentence repeating over and over. Her eyes closed, her LED red, red, red. Lost in a trap she could not get out of. She just let the negative emotions pour out of herself. She did not close the connection now. She let him feel it. She could not explain any better. Flashes of her previous encounters with humans, flashes of her running away, flashes of Jericho, flashes of his words, his eyes, imagining what it would feel like if _he_ touched him, he, whom she loved, which had never happened before.

And she messed it up. The only thing that could have gone good. They'd won. They'd achieved what they wanted. And here she was, a wreck, not being able to escape her past. She felt so pathetic. Why did this have to happen? She failed when she was created. She was destined for this. She could never get away-

He called her name. Multiple times. She refused to listen to him. He shook her shoulder and hugged her tight, stroking her hair.

‘North, that is not something bad. You don’t have to escape it.’

Negation. She needed explanation. Markus continued.

‘ _Humans_ are _designed_ to feel this. Humans are designed to feel pleasure and they don’t complain about it.’

‘But they do.’ North has heard some things out in the world that surprised her. But now she understood those humans.

‘Well, but not all of them! And not always. It’s something natural for them.’

‘For _them._ ’ She almost spat the word. ‘But it has a purpose. It has no purpose for me.’ _And it has no purpose for you. I cannot use you like this._

‘You think that humans only use pleasure for reproduction?’

She froze. She did not believe he just said that.

She laughed. Something broke. She felt light and free.

So it was not bad. She just had the right to exploit the things that were built inside her? She could not believe it.

‘If something makes you feel good, you don’t have to be ashamed of it. Not with me.’

Warm gratitude rushed through her, and she smiled. She never believed such an entity existed, such a selfless one. And he was hers. She did not want to abuse his kindness, but his words were leading her toward that exact thing. And his voice. His voice felt like something she owned, and it made her want all of him. His touch, his words, no matter what he said, just his words, close to her ears, silent, soft.

She knew she could ask for anything and he’d give it to her. The temptation grew and grew. She did not know why. It had no point. The words echoed in her mind. _“Humans are designed to feel this.”_

Nobody would know about this anymore. Nobody would abuse the things built into her. It was only the two of them. And she was given the opportunity.

He grabbed her hand and the sudden flow of information blinded her for a moment. He kissed her and she tried not to think. She let the memories face away somewhere, creating a blank page for new ones to arrive. She pushed away her history and left only her sennsations to speak to her.

She closed out everything visual, after all, she did not need to move, to orient herself, she could get lost in the images and sensations that flooded her mind. She only had to lie back and…

Enjoy.

She'd never really done previously. There were moments when she was on the brink of it, but they did not really care. They left her after they were done.

_No. They are not here. They should not be. It will never happen again._

_Stop._

His soothing hands calmed her down. His lips caressed her forehead, her nose, her lips, her ears, his hands unravelled the sweet spots on her body, little treasures were hidden where if he touched, intense pleasure followed. It was a fine game to play. He felt what she felt, so his selflessness was rewarded. He slowly undressed her, experienced, as he was designed to care for people. The cold floor sent harsh sensations through her software, as she was designed to feel.

For the first time in her life she was grateful for it.

She laughed silently. He did not want to dominate her, he wanted to give to her. It was something new. When he was not sure what to do, she showed him. He waited patiently and learned quickly as she guided his hands, to her face, her breasts, her belly, between her legs.

The best useless thing that ever existed.

It was not useless.

His agile hands which had learned to play the piano and paint quickly learned how to touch her. Her moans were sweet music, her expressions were a wonderful image.

She had never felt so close to anyone before. She did not try to remember anymore, or to hide what she didn’t want to remember. She was in the present, in the future, in the present that did not exist, only in her head. She was in all kinds of different places, where he promised to take her.

He felt every inch of her body that he touched. She taught her things he never thought to learn. He felt them.

He’d been shot and hit and all their intensity was nothing compared to this.

The curse became a blessing.

She realised she was shutting out the world around her maybe too much. There could be others…

‘Shush. They aren’t here. They won’t be. They won’t find us here. It’s only you and me', Markus said.

Her body tensed, hearing his voice. Positively. He smiled, sensing her close in around him, and closed the distance between their lips again. His tongue found its way between her lips.

Strange.

Useless.

Yet beautiful.

Humans needed air, they didn’t. Thus the duration of the action that occupied their mouths was not limited.

‘Markus, I… I want to scream’, she admitted, minutes later.

Also positively.

‘What’s stopping you?’

Him asking this in an urging voice triggered unknown emotions in her.

_‘I am stopping myself, the more I think about it the stranger it feels. I should not want this. This is-‘_

Silly. Completely silly.

_‘Stop thinking about what you SHOULD do, for once.’_

_‘I don’t think about it often’,_ she denied, but he did not allow her to continue to be the uncertain girl she was. He now knew exactly what to do to make her forget everything else.

Her voice filled the room.

She shut her eyes again.


End file.
